Too Late

Hey guys! Garrett here. Sorry for not posting anything awhile, school’s terrible and awesome at the same time. So, to make up for it, I will write two poems. Free verse, I think. Anyhow, just a fair warning, even though the poems are quite dark, let me assure you I am perfectly fine with good friends around me. I just like angsty fics or poems.

Enjoy!

 


 

Fallin’

Down, down, below

Into nothingness

As I feel these horrible things

Swimming around my mind

Is it just me,

Or am I falling from grace?

From greatness,

I have fallen into something  worthless.

People try to save me

But they can only do so much

As they try to reach for my hand

As I fall from my heaven into my hell.

The place where I deserve to be.

Tortured, for all eternity.

Much better than getting the love you didn’t deserve

Still, I think they will miss me, though

But then again, they can always move on.

Move on, have fun, and forget about me.

Isn’t that great?

As I come to meet my destiny, I hear voices.

Congratulating me, on the best decision I have ever made.

But amidst the victorious voices, I hear a small one

Mourning about how my family will ever react.

Now I’m doubting.

Was this really necessary?

Or was I too blind to see another solution?

It’s too late, anyway. I’ve hit the ground.

Intense pain circulates as I feel my bones crack.

Too much. Too much.

As I lose consciousness, I only hope he understands.


 

I was too late.

He jumped.

He wouldn’t listen to me.

That’s him, I guess. Reductive of his own worth.

How is his perception so distorted that he fails to see the good in him?

Right now, I can hear him telling me it’s fine. Like he always did.

How can he not see that this was not fine?

Is it because to say that you were fine and hide behind a mask

Is much easier than admitting you were not and showing your vulnerabilities?

How couldn’t he see that even if we’ll move on with our lives, he’ll always stay in our hearts, never to be forgotten?

Was it because I was too harsh on him? I’ll never know.

Now what do I do?

I’m not used to living a life without him forever.

I’m not even sure this life is worth living anymore.

I want to prove that I’m no better than he.

Even if he thinks I am.

Oh, the ambulance is here.

Will he survive?

‘Cause I ain’t pulling him off the plug.

He’s way too important for me to die.

I guess I’d better call his parents now.

 

 

 

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Before I go to sleep, Depression talks to me

This story is basically my take at depressed self-loathing Caleb. I wrote it to try and show how it feels like when depression hits me. Take note that this is only one way depression affects people. Sometimes, it can also mean feeling empty. Here it goes. Trigger warning: implied self-harm, suicidal thoughts, depressing thoughts. Explicit.

Caleb just wanted to sleep and escape into nothingness.

Right now, it’s 12:20 a.m. He couldn’t sleep, and voices kept popping up in his head, which are quite abusive to him. He knows it was just one voice, since it always yells bad things about him. it just has the ability to morph into voices of other people. Mostly, it’s his voice, but it changes to others as well.

“Worthless. Liar. Skinny, as they all say, or fat, as you see? Hahaha, you can’t seem to agree with yourself of who you are, can you?”, whispers the voice in his head. He shudders.

“Such a piece of shit. I still wonder how on Earth Leo is still friends with you. After all, isn’t he right about the fact that you are, let’s list it down, rude, anorexic, depressed, suicidal, and, well, it’s too long to mention.”, the voice continued, snickering.

“Didn’t it feel so good when you dragged something sharp across your forearm and see the scratch? Why couldn’t you do it again? Oh wait, you’ll hurt everyone with what you do to yourself. , it seems as if it’s the only thing you can do: hurt everyone, hmm?”

Caleb was crying silently. He was thankful all his other roommates were asleep. The voice’s right, how could he still keep on living? Why was he still eating the food other poor hungry people need more than him? He tried to read a Johnlock fanfic where John comforts Sherlock during one of Sherlock’s depressive episodes. To him, reading fanfics about characters being helped mentally and emotionally by other characters comforts him. He gets the feeling of comfort that he isn’t alone. That others have the same problem as him.

“Oh how sweet. Sherlock at least has John to remind him he’s worthy of life. Don’t you wish Leo would be able to do the same to you?” the voice mocks. “To be the one who you could cry on his shoulder and be the one to hug you? Oh, in your dreams kid. You know he hates to touch an evil, twisted anomaly like you. Plus, why would he even remind you that?”

Caleb decided to have a conversation with the voice.

“Hello depression.”

“Hello Caleb.”

“Why are you still here?”

“I don’t know, you ask me, bitch.”

“Fine. I wish you were gone.”

“Well duh. Everyone’s asking you to do your best to make me go away. They don’t understand, though.”

“I know. It’s so hard for people to understand how I feel.”

“That’s why I’m here. I’m the one who understands you a lot. I can sympathise with all the pain you have inside.”

“Funny, how you say it like you are not the one who causes it.”

“Ever heard of the term ‘the ugly truth’, bitch?”, the voice asked sarcastically. “When you let it all out, I make sure you do what you think you deserve.”

“Why do you convince me that killing myself is the only way out?”

“Caleb, when you die, this pain you feel inside you will go away. You will never make anyone mad at you for doing bad stuff. Plus, you deserve this.”

“But, I’ll end up hurting people I love.”

“They’ll understand as they move on with their lives. They can sell your stuff for money. Your parents save money in the long term. Right? You can give your iPhone to Leo. He’ll have more fun with you phone than with you. Plus, why would they need you anyway?”

“I don’t know. Honestly, there are people who love me a lot, even if I don’t deserve it, so I should probably do them a favour and stay alive.”

“Fine, be that way. Just so you know, I’m always ready to help you achieve death if you think otherwise.”

“Should I even believe you? All those times I tried your suggestions, I failed, and you laughed at me told me I was too weak to do what had to be done.”

“Well, they are good ones. You’re just too weak to follow through.”

“Oh well. Good night.”

“Good night, Caleb. Enjoy your dreams of suicide.”

Short story: Caleb’s OTPs(?)

Caleb thought about school in his bed. Wait, scratch that, he thought about his OTPs (One True Pairing). Before you dismiss him as irresponsible, take note that he has pulled an all-nighter for the sake of studying for exams. Let’s continue.

Caleb sighed. As much as he wanted the ship to happen, Leo/Rita just wasn’t going to be a thing. Yes, Leo liked Rita, but there was absolutely no sign from Rita saying that she liked Leo. All Caleb saw was a sermon given by Rita to Leo for not being cooperative with the play. In fangirl terms, this was canon. Leo/Rose had more hope, but for some reason, Leo still denied the possibility of being friends with Rose. Plus, when they weren’t on good terms, they cursed at each other in Spanish and Italian, respectively. Humph, next!

Jerry/Cam? Oh hell no! Just by appearance and by behaviour, it was obvious it would never work out! Cam was petite, but very bitchy sometimes (especially during rehearsals for the play, but he understood), and Jerry was like the perverted version of the BFG. This was obviously not his OTP. Next!

Caleb/Mae? Nah, he already got over Mae because he found out she was “pabebe”, and anyway, his eyes seemed to be more attracted to Fianza (who is a boy, but he was ok with that). Caleb/Fianza? He wasn’t sure. He kept on telling Fianza he was handsome, cute, and other positive adjectives, but Fianza didn’t seem to listen. Plus, Fianza denied Caleb’s brownie (which was so good because Jerry’s mom baked it). As much as it hurt, he knew it wouldn’t work. Next!

Axel/Clarisse? Now this had a lot of hope. The two were the main characters in the play ran by the section itself, and they were supposed to act as lovers who tragically found out they were siblings. Plus, Axel posted pictures of his conversation with Clarisse. Fluff overload, he thought dreamily. Hmm, need to think about more later. Next!

Porkie/Narcissus? Ok, he was biased here, but he didn’t want this to happen. Narcissus was his annoying classmate that’s disruptive AF during class, and his personality screams “babaero”. Porkie was a cute sweet shy girl that likes Facebook and needs to control her laughter during recitation in Math. She certainly didn’t deserve Narcissus! Next!

Oh wait, that’s all. Oh well, I need to sleep anyway, Caleb sighed as he entered the world of dreams.

 

Short story continuation

Caleb couldn’t remember exactly why he cut himself with scissors that Monday night 2 weeks ago. 10 marks on his left arm that disappeared after 2 weeks. All he knew was that everyone had a sympathetic/worried reaction, with him promising he wouldn’t do it again.

All he could remember was him thinking about all the negative comments about him said by TJ that seemed to be on repeat every night. Mom got so worried. Maybe that was why she gave him The Science of Happiness. Why she made sure to ask how was he feeling. She wouldn’t like it if she found out what was happening in school.

It started with Caleb having to take Concerta again this week. TJ knew already, because Caleb’s mom texted him about his situation. Maybe he had hopes that his talking would be under control that weren’t met. That could explain why he said offhand, “Why doesn’t his Concerta seem to work?” Ouch. That hurt. It works. You just don’t see it, because I’m alone.  Then you’ve got Leo asking, “Why you’ve got to be so depressed and sh*t like that?” I’m sorry. It’s my medicine. And I’m not depressed, thank you very much..  Plus the fact that he couldn’t be with mom on her birthday. Ouch. All those things could explain why his feet rushed him inside the bathroom. Why he felt relief after hitting his head on the wall. Why, for some reason, the pain on his head calmed him down. That was during the morning. Leo found out that moment when Caleb confessed what he did. He really couldn’t keep anything a secret, could he? He appreciated Leo’s efforts in cheering him up. This was one of the only things in school that make him happy.

Lunchtime. He did the same thing, except he yelled to himself all his thoughts. Too loud, in fact, that TJ overheard what he said. He confronted Caleb later, telling him, “Stop being depressed!”

He wished he could easily; stop hitting yourself on the head and smile a lot. But he couldn’t. At least, not the easy way. Hitting his head on the bathroom walls was how he coped with the pain. Not physical pain, more of emotional. Like a safety valve.

On Wednesday, Caleb went through the bathroom ordeal again, except that:

  1. Leo caught him during the morning. Caleb’s reason was because he cursed himself for forgetting that the people who failed their long test in Math already had a failing tentative grade, and were lamenting about it.
  2. TJ and Callie caught him during lunchtime. Caleb felt lonely and couldn’t reason with his heart that at least 16 people cared about him.

Leo was totally convinced Caleb was depressed. He forced him to go to the guidance counsellor.

“You’re depressed!”

“I am not depressed, Leo!”

“Yeah right. Then what’s with the head-banging on the walls?”

“It’s how I cope with the pain of feeling lonely and isolated.”

“I’ve got more reasons on why I’m a social outcast.”

“Then why not you go to the guidance counsellor?”

“Mine’s just petty, yours is worse, depression and sh*t like that.”

“I’m not depressed. It’s the medicine. Although I did do the cutting before I took it.”

“So you mean that the medicine amplified your feelings of sadness?”

“I guess so.”

“Ok, you really need to go to the guidance counsellor.”

“Ugh, fine.”

And to the guidance counsellor they went, with the guidance counsellor listening to the whole story and trying to give alternatives to hitting his head on the wall, like writing, because what Caleb did is self-harm, and not only he will get hurt, his loved ones too will.

As he went back to the classroom, Caleb decided to write what happened, as suggested. He did need to update his blog, after all. While listening to Leo explain all the instances that serve as proof that people hate him, knowing that the truth was, not everyone hated him. He was living proof.

The best moments this day, though, was when he heard Leo sing. It was very rare, because he never sung in public. He didn’t interrupt, for fear of the song stopping mid-way.

On Thursday, what made him stop the habit was seeing Leo look depressed. He rushed to the bathroom after trying to get Ishi’s attention about their music practicals and failing to do so.  Caleb followed to be sure. He saw him inside the locked stall, just inside. He stayed for a while and asked, “Leo? Are you in there?” Leo opened the door, and Caleb saw his sad face for the first time. Let’s just say, it broke him.

It turns out he had enough of being ignored by friends. Caleb listened to him, ignoring TJ’s advice of talking to everyone. Besides, he didn’t talk to Leo. The whole day, he was always with Leo, making sure he didn’t feel ignored. Maybe that was why he told me he was a social outcast. He listened to all the things he said, ignoring the heaviness in his heart when he said, “I don’t think that I’m better out of the picture. I am already out of the picture.”

“But you always talk to other classmates.”

“Only about jokes and brain teasers. Other than that, I’m always ignored by everyone.”

“Really? What about me?”

“Except you, of course. I mean other people.”

“Leo, not everyone ignores you. You have people who care about you, even if you don’t see them.”

“Give me 20 people that care about me. Aside from you and my relatives.”

“…”

“See?”

Their conversation wasn’t always sad, though. Sometimes, they would talk about happy stuff, like their fandoms, jokes in school, and brain teasers. Leo even helped Caleb review for ValEd.

That night, when Mom called, Caleb told her everything. Mom said, “You should stick with Leo. You have lots in common, and plus, I think he needs you.”

The rest of the call was a blur. All Caleb could remember were two things:

  1. Mom said Leo needed him.
  2. The holiday was moved to Sept. 25, their Scholar’s Night.

That night too, Camelot told TJ and Caleb everything he researched about depression. Leo wasn’t the only one totally convinced about Caleb being depressed.

On Friday, Leo and Caleb talked about what happened yesterday. Caleb asked, “I’m not sure whether I need you, or you need me, and- “

“That’s true.”

“Do you still think I’m depressed?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it because I’m more quiet than usual?”

“Yeah.”

They were interrupted when they saw their teacher coming. They rushed to their classroom in time.

English was fun, ComSci was like the Oracle prophesizing the scariest news: the periodic examination. During their Integrated Science Period that turned into free time, Caleb typed what happened so far. He was pleasantly surprised when he learnt that Tiger wrote a fanfic before.

Lunch was a disaster. TJ made Tiger lose her appetite by making her focus on the earthworm under the bench. At first, Caleb was alone. Then, Tiger joined, then TJ, lastly Sonic. The four discussed about the irony of Caleb’s ADHD.

Math was ok. Students who didn’t recite that much were forced to discuss their answers in the quiz in front of the class. Narcissus replaced Porky, seeing that she was struggling with words.

The Filipino Long Test was not as hard as Caleb expected. The only hard part was the songs of the pre-colonial Filipinos.

The weekdays officially ended with Caleb and his parents sleeping in dad’s condominium for the visit to the psychologist the next day.

Short story continuation

Caleb couldn’t remember exactly why he cut himself with scissors that Monday night 2 weeks ago. 10 marks on his left arm that disappeared after 2 weeks. All he knew was that everyone had a sympathetic/worried reaction, with him promising he wouldn’t do it again.

All he could remember was him thinking about all the negative comments about him said by TJ that seemed to be on repeat every night. Mom got so worried. Maybe that was why she gave him The Science of Happiness. Why she made sure to ask how was he feeling. She wouldn’t like it if she found out what was happening in school.

It started with Caleb having to take Concerta again this week. TJ knew already, because Caleb’s mom texted him about his situation. Maybe he had hopes that his talking would be under control that weren’t met. That could explain why he said offhand, “Why doesn’t his Concerta seem to work?” Ouch. That hurt. It works. You just don’t see it, because I’m alone.  Then you’ve got Leo asking, “Why you’ve got to be so depressed and sh*t like that?” I’m sorry. It’s my medicine. And I’m not depressed, thank you very much..  Plus the fact that he couldn’t be with mom on her birthday. Ouch. All those things could explain why his feet rushed him inside the bathroom. Why he felt relief after hitting his head on the wall. Why, for some reason, the pain on his head calmed him down. That was during the morning. Leo found out that moment when Caleb confessed what he did. He really couldn’t keep anything a secret, could he? He appreciated Leo’s efforts in cheering him up. This was one of the only things in school that make him happy.

Lunchtime. He did the same thing, except he yelled to himself all his thoughts. Too loud, in fact, that TJ overheard what he said. He confronted Caleb later, telling him, “Stop being depressed!”

He wished he could easily; stop hitting yourself on the head and smile a lot. But he couldn’t. At least, not the easy way. Hitting his head on the bathroom walls was how he coped with the pain. Not physical pain, more of emotional. Like a safety valve.

On Wednesday, Caleb went through the bathroom ordeal again, except that:

  1. Leo caught him during the morning. Caleb’s reason was because he cursed himself for forgetting that the people who failed their long test in Math already had a failing tentative grade, and were lamenting about it.
  2. TJ and Callie caught him during lunchtime. Caleb felt lonely and couldn’t reason with his heart that at least 16 people cared about him.

Leo was totally convinced Caleb was depressed. He forced him to go to the guidance counsellor.

“You’re depressed!”

“I am not depressed, Leo!”

“Yeah right. Then what’s with the head-banging on the walls?”

“It’s how I cope with the pain of feeling lonely and isolated.”

“I’ve got more reasons on why I’m a social outcast.”

“Then why not you go to the guidance counsellor?”

“Mine’s just petty, yours is worse, depression and sh*t like that.”

“I’m not depressed. It’s the medicine. Although I did do the cutting before I took it.”

“So you mean that the medicine amplified your feelings of sadness?”

“I guess so.”

“Ok, you really need to go to the guidance counsellor.”

“Ugh, fine.”

And to the guidance counsellor they went, with the guidance counsellor listening to the whole story and trying to give alternatives to hitting his head on the wall, like writing, because what Caleb did is self-harm, and not only he will get hurt, his loved ones too will.

As he went back to the classroom, Caleb decided to write what happened, as suggested. He did need to update his blog, after all. While listening to Leo explain all the instances that serve as proof that people hate him, knowing that the truth was, not everyone hated him. He was living proof.

The best moments this day, though, was when he heard Leo sing. It was very rare, because he never sung in public. He didn’t interrupt, for fear of the song stopping mid-way.

On Thursday, what made him stop the habit was seeing Leo look depressed. He rushed to the bathroom after trying to get Ishi’s attention about their music practicals and failing to do so.  Caleb followed to be sure. He saw him inside the locked stall, just inside. He stayed for a while and asked, “Leo? Are you in there?” Leo opened the door, and Caleb saw his sad face for the first time. Let’s just say, it broke him.

It turns out he had enough of being ignored by friends. Caleb listened to him, ignoring TJ’s advice of talking to everyone. Besides, he didn’t talk to Leo. The whole day, he was always with Leo, making sure he didn’t feel ignored. Maybe that was why he told me he was a social outcast. He listened to all the things he said, ignoring the heaviness in his heart when he said, “I don’t think that I’m better out of the picture. I am already out of the picture.”

“But you always talk to other classmates.”

“Only about jokes and brain teasers. Other than that, I’m always ignored by everyone.”

“Really? What about me?”

“Except you, of course. I mean other people.”

“Leo, not everyone ignores you. You have people who care about you, even if you don’t see them.”

“Give me 20 people that care about me. Aside from you and my relatives.”

“…”

“See?”

Their conversation wasn’t always sad, though. Sometimes, they would talk about happy stuff, like their fandoms, jokes in school, and brain teasers. Leo even helped Caleb review for ValEd.

That night, when Mom called, Caleb told her everything. Mom said, “You should stick with Leo. You have lots in common, and plus, I think he needs you.”

The rest of the call was a blur. All Caleb could remember were two things:

  1. Mom said Leo needed him.
  2. The holiday was moved to Sept. 25, their Scholar’s Night.

That night too, Camelot told TJ and Caleb everything he researched about depression. Leo wasn’t the only one totally convinced about Caleb being depressed.

On Friday, Leo and Caleb talked about what happened yesterday. Caleb asked, “I’m not sure whether I need you, or you need me, and- “

“That’s true.”

“Do you still think I’m depressed?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it because I’m more quiet than usual?”

“Yeah.”

They were interrupted when they saw their teacher coming. They rushed to their classroom in time.

English was fun, ComSci was like the Oracle prophesizing the scariest news: the periodic examination. During their Integrated Science Period that turned into free time, Caleb typed what happened so far. He was pleasantly surprised when he learnt that Tiger wrote a fanfic before.

Lunch was a disaster. TJ made Tiger lose her appetite by making her focus on the earthworm under the bench. At first, Caleb was alone. Then, Tiger joined, then TJ, lastly Sonic. The four discussed about the irony of Caleb’s ADHD.

Math was ok. Students who didn’t recite that much were forced to discuss their answers in the quiz in front of the class. Narcissus replaced Porky, seeing that she was struggling with words.

The Filipino Long Test was not as hard as Caleb expected. The only hard part was the songs of the pre-colonial Filipinos.

The weekdays officially ended with Caleb and his parents sleeping in dad’s condominium for the visit to the psychologist the next day.

Short story for fun (my friends know what this really means)

Caleb was pissed. He was so excited for the club’s next meeting, and yet it was postponed. He was at least with his best friend, Leo. They were both obsessed over Percy Jackson, and his laptop was full of PJO fan art and head canons from Instagram, so they had fun staring at them and laughing. Caleb had enough.

“Come on! The guidance counsellor said this meeting was important!” whined Caleb.

“Well, his business is more ‘important’ than this important meeting.”, replied Leo.

“We’ve seen all the fan art and head canons, right?”

“Yeah. Oh god, my stomach hurts.”

“Well, let’s go outside.”

And out they went. The cafeteria was there, and it was often their class’s favourite hangout, so there were his classmates playing truth or dare. Maris was the most active player in the game. As the two passed by, Maris yelled “Hey Caleb!”

Caleb asked “Why?” You never knew with Maris. Maris was the best in Math, but today, Caleb and Leo were the Top 1 in the class’s superlong seat work; 45 out of 53. Other than that, she was the Math guidance counsellor. 

Maris said, “This is just a dare, ok? Mae, tell him already.” What is she going to say?     Mae said three numbers, “1-4-3”. She seemed embarrassed about it. Caleb didn’t get why, but Leo did. He pulled Caleb. “Ok, we gotta go now. Bye!”

When the duo was far away, Leo explained the three numbers. “Caleb, she said I love you.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, it’s just like that.” Caleb felt a bit sad and wistful about what she said. You see, she was Caleb’s crush. Not a severe case, ok maybe, but she was who Caleb thought of as the prettiest girl in class. She was just, well, simple and natural. Her simple and graceful manners, and her face, which was just so pretty, and attractive, and her long flowing hair bouncing about while she walks. The best part? He’s the only one fawning over her. Which meant no enemies. The bad part? Some of his friends knew already about it. (Darn you truth or dare.)

Caleb was smart. He knew she was forced to say that. That made him sad. What made him wistful was what if she really meant it. He still wishes he could ask her out to Starbucks. 

Leo knew already. He was also in that truth or dare game that revealed it all. (Again, darn you truth or dare.) Caleb decided to tell his thoughts to Leo. Leo simply nodded in agreement, while trying not to think about Caleb and Mae kissing in the rain. Just like the scene in The Notebook. 

Caleb, on the other hand, was on a fangirling outbreak after telling his thoughts. He wasn’t always obsessed about her. Sometimes he was obsessed over his favourite book series. And, yes, he was also obsessed with his favourite characters doing mushy gushy stuff. (Thank you Fanfiction.net).    

Dismissal time came and Caleb and Leo went their own separate ways. Leo goes home daily; Caleb stays in the dorm. Time flitted by while he did the usual routine; give his ID, dump his bag on the floor beside his bunk bed, get his clothes from his luggage, change into clean clothes, and rest on the bed. Then, he talked to his friends, TJ and Einstein, about major events in school, homework and quizzes, and etc.

TJ told Caleb, “You know, I really think you should try to lower your volume when you talk to Leo.”

Caleb winced. He knew this was coming. It had been going on for weeks. Caleb liked to talk to Leo (a lot) about PJO, school stuff, fanfics, and etc. 

“Oh. Is it too loud again?”

“Yeah. So many of our classmates are starting to complain about you.”

“Oh no. Maybe I should take Concerta again.” My ADHD’s getting worse! It can’t be like in Grade 4! 

“What’s Concerta?”

“Well, Concerta is a stimulant I used to take before. That one made me more focused, and quiet, but it had side effects; I couldn’t sleep well, I start to lose weight, I get depressed, and I stopped after three years.”

“Maybe you should take it again.”

“I don’t know, whenever I tell mom, she’s like, Oh you shouldn’t say that, I thought you can control your ADHD.”

“Have you noticed Ron is getting stressed lately?”

“Kind of. Last time, in ComSci, he sounded really stressed about the reporting.”

“He failed the long test in Math. You know, Caleb, he’s the guy who can’t stand losing.”

“Oh, so he tries to show that he contributed to the winners?”

“Yep. Remember during English during the skits when you and Einstein got the Best Actor Award?”

“Yes.”

“He tried to day, ‘Oh, I was the one who helped him act, with the emotions.’”

“Oh.”

“Oh, um, TJ, why were you so sad when you failed the math long test?”

“It was the first time I failed in Math!”

“Oh. Nah, I’m used to it.”

“My Math Tentative Grade is going to go down.”

“Maybe mine, too.”

 “Let’s eat dinner.”

 “Sure.”

They got their wallets and water bottles and went down to the mess hall. Dinner was meh. The only good part in dinner was when Ewell came over. She’s a friend of Caleb and everyone. They chatted for a long time, then went back to their dorm room to get ready for Study Period, aka “Give your phones to us, you need to study”, usually starting and ending w/ a bell. TJ, Caleb, Albert, and Chris talked to each other before Study Period.

Study Period started. First, dormers surrendered their phones. Second, they submitted their request forms to use the laptop signed by teachers to the Dorm Manager or Assistant (if they have any. It’s for those who have to use their laptops.) Then, those who need to use their laptops should go to the mess hall to study, while those who don’t have a choice to go down or stay up.

Caleb went down with his laptop bag into the mess hall. He took out his Macbook Air and got so many comments about him being RK (Rich Kid), much to his dismay. He inserted his USB, clicked on the PowerPoints, and rad them. One by one. He didn’t really take notes; he already wrote them down during class. He does this for some time, then decides to close his laptop, and go up to finish his written assignments., together with his dorm mates. He really doesn’t like crowds that much. They’re too noisy. That narcissistic classmate who tries to flirt with girls with his corny pickup lines, study groups that are not the same section as him, guys and gals drawing anime, nope. Yep, his introvert side is popping up. He’s too talkative to be an introvert, though.

Study time was over. People rushed to get their phones back and get called by their parents. Caleb gets his phone, goes up to his dorm room, prepares his stuff for tomorrow, then crashes on his bed. The end of another day, he thought, making a mental note to wake up to his alarm tomorrow.

Memory Recovery

When your grandmother gets so old,

She can’t remember anything, as what you’re told

You show her pictures of herself back then

While you and your parents were still in heaven

And your grandmother was a child before.

II

Her picture of herself with her playmates

Her graduation picture full of batch mates,

Her picture of her ex-boyfriend

And her shattered heart she had to mend

Now show her the picture of the day at the beach.

III

The memory process has  just begun,

If you just started something, you’re obviously not done.

There are many more pictures you have to show,

Because you started the process a while ago.

She’ll soon remember the memories she has forgotten.

IV

You might not be able to finish,

When she dies, her memories forever diminish.

Just remember, if that happens, you did your best,

You both enjoyed the process, and you did it with zest.

Now, she’s with her Creator at eternal rest.

This poem was our English written project for 2nd trim. My topic is Forgotten Memory.

My Faithful Green Notebook

I

My green notebook serves me

Faithfully and forever.

I don’t care if it’s old, just let it be,

But please don’t make a tear.

II

It contains all those little notes,

The ones I wrote in school

Some are good, some are okay,

The others, I want to throw away.

III

It’s one of those notebooks in my collection,

I kind of regret the rest, ’cause I rarely used them.

But seeing you beg for one more note,

I guess you’re my only one.

IV

I might have a 3rd party in my notebooks,

The floral one in my cubby is kind of getting jealous.

If it had legs, it would walk home,

And slap me on the face.

V

Now that I wrote this, I kind of wonder,

All these words made from letters,

All those years spent on reading books,

Have finally paid off in writing.

VI

Oh well, it’s over now,

My babysitter’s calling me.

It’s time for lunch, you know,

And I really have to eat.

A Not-So-Serious Poem about Pre-teens

I

I’ll make a short announcement:

I can’t be independent.

So how on earth can I mature,

If self-reliance isn’t in my nature?

II

I’m in the stage of pre-teens,

I’m no longer a child, but not yet a teen.

I’m no longer the child I used to be,

A lot of changes happen, let’s wait and see.

III

My classmates and I already have pimples,

I’m lucky I don’t have inflamed red pimples.

All of us are having our growth spurts

We can easily outgrow most of our t-shirts.

IV

My favorites are not the same as before

Then, I like tinola, but now I like Knorr.

(Yes, they’re crazy, but they rhyme anyway

Finding words that rhyme is as hard as hardened clay)

Dan the Bully

Dan came in
Who I know is terribly mean
He grabbed my collar
And demanded a dollar
I didn’t have any, so he squashed me
Until I looked like a flattened bee

Then in came Johnny who used to be meek
Who wrote on a board “You’re a ******* ****!”
(Don’t even think I’ll write it
No one’ll ever like it)

While Dan was busy, I pulled his pants down
Now he looked like he was wearing a boy’s nightgown
To make it worse, his underwear was black
All of the kids saw it, even the ones at the back

We laughed so much, our bellies ached
I’d say that was Dan’s biggest mistake
That was the last time we ever saw Dan
Who behaved like a bully and a mean little man